I SHOULD REST BUT ..........

I should rest but …….

On the 25^th October 2009 Astro featured the live match between Manchester United and Liverpool. I watched the last 20 minutes of the game and witnessed the final goal Liverpool shot pass the Manchester United’s goalkeeper.  I was delighted with the 2-0 final result against MU but there is a price I paid.  By the time I get to bed it was almost midnight and it took me sometime to finally fall asleep. 

Well, you might say, this is normal.  Yeah, I might say.  On that particular day, I was ministering in FGA-North then together with my wife we adjourned to Chinese Recreation Club for 2 hours of badminton.  Later in the evening attends a birthday celebration.  Physically I can feel that I am tired.  I need rest. I activated my computer and read mails and go into Facebook to enjoy some of the comments. I saw a friend on line so I did a online chat. I should rest but …..

The next day I learned some valuable life lessons through this incident.

The next day, I had to be in office early to attend some important paperwork but I had to force myself out of bed. I have a job to attend and to do it well because I am paid to do a good job.  By three in the afternoon I could hardly keep my eyes open.  It was so embarrassing to keep yawning when I hold a discussion with my client. I was tired and sleepy.  I could not give 100% concentration. I took an early leave from office and when I reached home I slumped on the sofa and took a nap. I could not hold a good conversation with my wife.  I just wanted to take a nap.  I was just too tired and sleepy.  Is it because of work? No, simply because I had my priorities wrong.

I was awaken to a simple truth … my priorities was messed up.

Some of the lessons I learned and I would like to share with you,

1.      UNDERSTANDING PRIORITIES

a.      As an employee, I am paid to do a job by my employer and it is expected of me to give my best.  Anything short of best is not only I short changed my employer I am also dishonoring God because whatever I do I do it unto the glory of God just as scripture admonished us.

b.      Failure to give my best has negative consequences especially in this competitive job market.  How can I expect the best from the company when I am giving second or third grade work?  If I am giving my best to the company who failed to recognize my good work, I am sure others will take notice of you.  It is unlikely company failed to reward good conscientious worker.

c.      As a businessman, my client expects me to offer him my attention.  If I am “sleepy” not able to deliver excellent service to my client why should he retain my services? If I lose his business I have no one to blame except myself

d.      As a husband, my family would like to enjoy a sense of togetherness and belonging the rest of day before retiring to bed. The home should not be treated as a “hotel” for sleeping.  My wife should not be treated like a servant, wash the cloths, cook the meal and look after the children.  If I continue to mess up my priorities I can foresee grave consequences resulting from my senseless lack of understanding concerning my priorities.

2.      UNDERSTANDING PLEASURE & PRIORITIES

a.      Pleasure is a gift from God.  He said to Adam to enjoy every all the fruits in the garden with the exception of one.

b.      If pleasure takes precedent over priorities, watch out because you are heading for troubles. As for me the pleasure to finish the soccer match when my body is shouting to me to rest is a bad choice.  I should listen to my body.  It is absolutely important for my body to gain sufficient rest so that I can give the needed attention to my job, client and family.  My bad choice is “pleasure” took over my priorities.  The negative consequences are obvious.

c.      I asked myself, “By staying awake till the game is over or go to bed before the game ended, do you think the end result will be different? Does Liverpool know that you sacrifice your much needed rest for them?”  My pleasure interfered with my priorities. This I found myself total lack of discretion.

3.      UNDERSTANDING PHYSICAL WELLNESS IS IMPORTANT

a.       If I continue to allow “pleasure” to take precedence over priorities I not only hurt my career and family, it is highly possible that in the long run I will hurt my body.

b.      As a Christian, I must maintain wellness in spirit, soul and body. Physical wellness is important. If I enjoy a certain food but I know that it can hurt my health I should exercise self control or temperance. 

c.      I am wonderfully and marvelously made just as the Psalmist said.  So, it is my duty not to abuse my body with extreme eating, rest when I should and exercise when I need to.

I am not asking you to kill even the simple pleasures of life.  The lesson I learned is if I allow pleasure to take precedence over priorities then I lacked wisdom. I can be excellent as God intended me to be but failed because I have allowed pleasure to distract me to be one.

The pleasure I mentioned is “watching a soccer match” but if you replaced it with what your own, I think you can relate what I am saying here.  For example, if coming to church on Sunday morning is your priority what is the “pleasure” that robbed this from you? What about the pleasure that robbed your priority to your children? Wife? Job? Parent? Health? And so forth.  The moment you recognize this, you will be set free.

I should rest but …..

30 WAYS TO SAY "GOOD FOR YOU" OR "YOU ARE OKAY"

These are 30 suggestions to say to someone other than "Good for you" or "You are Okay"

1.     That's great
2.     Good Work
3.     Thank you very much
4.     Good Idea
5.     That is a good point
6.     I like that
7.     Very Interesting
8.     Terrific
9.     You are on the right track
10.   Marvelous
11.   Thank you for .....
12.   Excellent Work
13.   Right on
14.   You've got the right idea
15.   Love it
16.  Nice going
17.  That's neat
18.  That's unique
19.  Keep it up
20.  Exactly
21.  That's much better
22.  Wow
23.  Far out
24.  Beautiful
25.  That's a good start
26.  You make it look so easy
27.  That's an interesting way of looking at it
28.  You really did a good job
29.  That's cool
30.  Add your own to the list .................

BE CONFIDENT TEENAGERS

BE CONFIDENT TEENAGERS

Allow me to share with you what I did during my growing teenage years.  Honestly, I thoroughly enjoyed those wonderful and precious years.  Given the slightest opportunity, we would share and laugh at those happy moments for hours with my contemporaries.  We laughed at some of the silly things we did, the bloopers, failings during the courting days and you can say, anything that can tickle our bones.  Perhaps it is a clear sign of growing old. One regret though, I can only look back but cannot relive those carefree years again.  Nevertheless, I am so thankful that God out of His abundant grace provided me with good church friends to support and guide me during those formative years.  He allowed His word, the sharing during Saturday Youth Meetings, the teachings I received each Sunday (some good some not so good), friends in the workplace to help in shaping me, in spirit, soul and body.

Allow me to share with you some of the activities I was involved in as a teenager.  Well, no computer games or internet during my growing years.

1. Planning and organizing Bible Camps.
2. A hike up to Air Itam Dam with a simple meal of sardine sandwiches.  
3. Canoeing and fishing at Gurney Drive
4. Fried the fishes caught and enjoy our catch of the day
5. Cycling - it was quite safe then.  Not quite recommended these days.
6. Praying together as a group after school
7. Acting out a drama in the church
8. Attending Bible Camps
9. A game of volleyball after Sunday Afternoon Bible study time
10. Studying Bible together

Looking at the list of activities, you can agree with me that having good fun need not be a costly affair.  These activities create memories that is good and lasting. Sometimes, I wonder why teenagers paired up and start serious relationship when they are still a teenager. Personally, I feel it is such a waste to lose this once in a lifetime opportunity to have great fun with others - the joy of being a teenager. The joy to discover and explore the world around you. There are so much to live for. Truly, I just don’t understand.  Perhaps I am getting older and ancient and invariably lost touch with the modern time.  Or, maybe our teenagers have no fresh ideas on how to maximize their teenage years.  Children these days are surrounded with so many gadgets and sophisticated toys that I was deprived of when I was a kid.  For me, my playground is the field and my toys are handmade.  Crude and simple it may be but it enables me to be creative and innovative in coming out with great ideas.

My advice to you is make careful choices.  You may have heard, "Ideas have consequences".  What you choose today will determine what you will become tomorrow.  If you chose to eat incessantly today, consequently you will grow fat in the future or hurt your health.  As a young person, exercise wisdom when making choices.  It is quite impossible to undo what you have done. 

I am suggesting the following choices that you may want to consider,

1.         Choose a goal

What is your future going to be?  Nothing comes naturally or automatically.  You have to work on it.  What God has promised they are not automatically yours.  God promised the Israelites the land of Canaan, a land flowing with milk and honey. He continued, ‘every place your foot shall thread upon it will be yours’.  Now, the Israelites have to go in, fight the enemies of the land and even facing giants in the land.  But God promised to be with them in every battle.  So, move in and possess that which God has promised. You have part to play.

If you desire to excel in any career there is need to invest in time, acquiring knowledge, seeking to improve on your interpersonal and communication skill.  You may have to fight against giants like, too much television or video viewing, skimming through the internet aimlessly, sleep, leisure time, laziness and other enemies.  You cannot succeed without having to pay the price of hard work and focus on working toward that goal purposefully.  If it is just talk without concrete actions they are only dreams and good intentions. Dreams can only become a reality if you wake up and start working on it. Do not give up and in due season it will bear fruits.

If you have no plans for the future then your present action is without meaning.  You will be walking and spending your time aimlessly.  Seek counsel from righteous and matured leaders to help you on this. What do you want to be?  Don’t know?  Where do you intend to go?  Don’t know?  Work on this. Set a goal for your life.  Underlying your desire let there be this, ‘I want to be a good Christian displaying godly character in my work’. Whatsoever things I do, I do unto the glory of God.

2.         Choose to increase wisdom

Wisdom will protect you.  Wisdom will guide you.  For the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  In general, wisdom has four elements, Knowledge, Understanding, Discernment and Discretion.  Having knowledge alone is not wisdom it only prove that you are knowledgeable.  One can be very good academically but can be fools in the areas pertaining to life.  Having an understanding of the knowledge acquired helps you to discern between what is right and wrong. Such understand can also be acquired through good counsel.  Many young persons fell because they failed to discern the situation and stand firm on that which is right.  This is an excellent principle ‘prove all things but hold fast that which is good’.  The final element is ‘discretion’ and by far in my opinion is top most in the ladder of wisdom. "Discretion" give us victory over difficult situation.  Saying the right word, doing the correct thing at the right moment is discretion. Seek wisdom.  Do not neglect wisdom.  Wisdom pays excellent dividends in the long run.

Your first step is to increase knowledge.  Learn to read much.  Soak yourself with knowledge.  Seek the Holy Spirit’s help for understanding.  Discern and holdfast those that are good and acceptable.  Use the knowledge rightly and timely.  At age 19 I started my working life. I realized how very important good education is the path to succeed  in one's career.  To come to realization is only a good start.  By this time, I decided not to give up on this great battle - to gain knowledge at all cost. I began invest my limited financial resources on books and take time to read.  I invested heavily on knowledge.  Within a period of 6 years I rose from a general clerk to become a manager of an insurance company.

3.         Choose how you will spend your time

This is where you exercise your power of discretion.  Nothing happens until you make a decision.  Decide today how you will spend your time.  As a young man I decided not to miss our yearly Bible Camp.  I gained deeper understanding of His word through the messages shared by the speaker, time set aside seeking the Lord in prayer strengthen my spiritual life and the valuable bonding with friends, I grew from strength to strength spiritually.  I responded to each altar call to dedicated my life to serve the Lord. It was there I decided and choose to serve Him.  At age 20, I signed up to be a Sunday School Teacher.  I know what it takes to be a good one.  I aim to be the best teacher and with that there is a price tag on it.  I choose to invest time to search, research, listen to tapes, financial resources on books and prayer to seek the face of God. I learned more as a Sunday School Teacher than any "ordinary" Christian because I have to prepare lesson to teach each Sunday.  It builds discipline in my life too.

Time is precious.  Time is something you cannot stretch it and neither can you recover it after spending it.  Once it is over it is over.  Therefore do not squander your precious time away in unfruitful ways.  God will hold you accountable on how you use your time.  God is a God of growth.  He said, “Be fruitful and multiply”.  He said to the servant who invested the 10 talents and reap another 10 talents, ‘You good and faithful servant’.  What about the one who buried the talent?  ‘You wicked…’, He said.  So, may I say this - Young people invest your time wisely.  What you decides today will determine the outcome of your tomorrow.

4.         Choose your words

Words can build and words can also destroy someone.  You can hurt your closest friend very badly and even break the friendship you have developed over the years.  If that happens, what a waste.  The Bible encourages us to use wholesome words.  Be an encourager.  If you have to correct someone think carefully and seek God’s wisdom before you utter a word.  This is wisdom.  Choose your words carefully before you speak.  Words spoken cannot be retracted. Search out the truth and find the right time and place to say it is called "discretion".  Friends are important and precious to us at any point of our lives. Friends grow old with us.  Be a friend if you want friends.  Above all else, maintain family unity.  Choose your words carefully when you speak to your parents and siblings.  They are the ones who will love you no matter what.

5.         Choose your friends

This too calls for discernment and discretion.  Good friends can help you grow and be what God intended you to be.  I have a friend whose family had been very supportive during my younger days.  My understanding of English language was atrociously bad.  What a shame, I am supposed to be English educated.  This friend was patient and gracious to me. He did not despise me but helped me. Along the way  I do encounter some "bad" ones.  Their bad influence nearly led me astray from God.  I am glad I decided to attend the yearly Bible Camp. My first job was a General Clerk.  I know this is my break in life however, I am uncertain how to move forward from there. In my moment of need, God brought a few good people to guide me.  He would lend me books to read, guide me in insurance, encourage me whenever I face difficulties.  I am so grateful with friends like him.  We are still in touch although he is retired and played golf most of the days.   In simple words, choose your friends carefully. 

6.         Choose your attitude

Be kind to people.  "Kindness is something that the blind can see and the deaf can hear", says Helen Kellar. Choose to be generous.  Choose to be Christ-like in every area of your life. My motto in life is "For me to live is Christ".  Do not let the circumstances of this world mould you but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Choose to have the mind of Christ.  Choose to be an encourager.  Speak wholesome words.  Do not be proud and haughty but gentle and kind. It takes great courage to be god to other and to do good.  Every person can return evil for evil but only the strong can return good for evil.  It takes great strength to forgive when people wronged against you. A good attitude can take you very far in your career. An academic achiever plus good attitude is lethal weapon to succeed in life.

Enjoy your youth.  Do not let others despise your youth.  Put your trust in Him. God is no respecter of persons.  In the past He used young people like David to slay Goliath,  Joseph an excellent manager in the household of Portiphar, Daniel to prophesy in the kingdom of Babylon, surely he can use you.  Nothing is impossible with Him. The question is, “Are you willing?”.  If you are willing to take His business as your business then He will take your business as His business. 

BUILDING A POSITIVE LOVE RELATIONSHIP

Some suggestions to build a positive love relationship

1.  You love the total person and not the physical attributes. If you just love the physical attributes then I am more inclined to conclude that this is a clear sign of infatuation or perhaps more lust then love. 

2.  In true love, where there is a feeling of pleasure there must exist a feeling of reverence and respect for the partner.  If you say, "If you love me, you will give me everything" then you show no respect for your partner.  It does not build long term positive relationship because after your partner has given you 'everything', then what? Walk away? Man do not take this relationship as a sense to 'conquor' and after you have taken what you want, you walked away.  Girls wise up.

3.  "Preferring others more than yourself" is what the Bible says. True love is self-giving, not exploit BUT enrich the other. You think of your partner's happiness than your own.

4.  Responsibility in love call for commitment.  When you say, "I love you" it means more than a feeling but a sense of commitment.  You must also be ready to say, "I will marry you and love you the rest of my life".  Divorce is not an option.  Commitment is long term. Taking responsibility is maturity.

5.  True love enjoys the company of each other.  It hurts when separated a long time. You have a feeling that something is missing.  A mature relationship even though hates the separation can sustain separation.  Love trusts, patient and feels comfortable with each other.

6.  Lust focus on physical expression such as petting or the Bible said, "lust of the flesh".  If you cannot be together without petting I sincerely believe that you do not have the maturity for marriage.  In marriage, the reality is there is more talk than sex.  If you cannot communicate and enjoy talking to each other then I think you are heading for big challenges in marriage.

7.  True love calls for a protective attitude toward the partner.  In this regard, Abraham failed when he should protect his wife Sarah, surrendered her to the king of Egypt.  What kind of partner is that? It is demanded of you to shield your partner from harm.  You are expected to encouraged his strength and help overcome his weakness. When you seek to build each other, the relationship grows from strength to strength.

8.  There is a strong sense of belonging to each other. You want to share your life, joy, happiness, success and everything - it is no long two but become "ONE".  Hence I often said, love is spelled "T I M E" and "C O M M I T M E N T" and not convenience. 

9.  It is build on "UNDERSTANDING".  As the relationship develops, you tend to share a common understanding on major important issues.  You grow to understand each other's feeling of likes and dislikes.  Understanding helps you avoid provoking your partner to anger or distress.  It promotes unity in relationship. it brings meaning to the relationship.

10. It does not seek to change your partner.  You changed and matured to be the right partner.  A selfish person seeks the other to conform his expectations.  When both parties seek to be the best partner the end result - wonderful union.

This I believe is love.  Read 1 Corinthians 13 and live out Apostle Paul's advice.

A SMILE

A smile costs nothing, but gives much -
It takes but a moment, but the memory
Of it usually lasts forever.
None are so rich that can get along
Without it -
And none are so poor but that can
Be made rich by it.
It enriches those who receive
Without making poor those who give -
It creates sunshine in the home,
Fosters goodwill in business.
And it is good antidote for trouble -
And yet it cannot be begged, borrowed
Or stolen, for it is of no value
Unless it is freely given away.
Some people are too busy to give
You a smile -
Give them one of yours -
For the good Lord knows that no one
Needs a smile so badly
As he or she who has none
Smiles left to give.

Author Unknown