BUILDING A POSITIVE LOVE RELATIONSHIP

Some suggestions to build a positive love relationship

1.  You love the total person and not the physical attributes. If you just love the physical attributes then I am more inclined to conclude that this is a clear sign of infatuation or perhaps more lust then love. 

2.  In true love, where there is a feeling of pleasure there must exist a feeling of reverence and respect for the partner.  If you say, "If you love me, you will give me everything" then you show no respect for your partner.  It does not build long term positive relationship because after your partner has given you 'everything', then what? Walk away? Man do not take this relationship as a sense to 'conquor' and after you have taken what you want, you walked away.  Girls wise up.

3.  "Preferring others more than yourself" is what the Bible says. True love is self-giving, not exploit BUT enrich the other. You think of your partner's happiness than your own.

4.  Responsibility in love call for commitment.  When you say, "I love you" it means more than a feeling but a sense of commitment.  You must also be ready to say, "I will marry you and love you the rest of my life".  Divorce is not an option.  Commitment is long term. Taking responsibility is maturity.

5.  True love enjoys the company of each other.  It hurts when separated a long time. You have a feeling that something is missing.  A mature relationship even though hates the separation can sustain separation.  Love trusts, patient and feels comfortable with each other.

6.  Lust focus on physical expression such as petting or the Bible said, "lust of the flesh".  If you cannot be together without petting I sincerely believe that you do not have the maturity for marriage.  In marriage, the reality is there is more talk than sex.  If you cannot communicate and enjoy talking to each other then I think you are heading for big challenges in marriage.

7.  True love calls for a protective attitude toward the partner.  In this regard, Abraham failed when he should protect his wife Sarah, surrendered her to the king of Egypt.  What kind of partner is that? It is demanded of you to shield your partner from harm.  You are expected to encouraged his strength and help overcome his weakness. When you seek to build each other, the relationship grows from strength to strength.

8.  There is a strong sense of belonging to each other. You want to share your life, joy, happiness, success and everything - it is no long two but become "ONE".  Hence I often said, love is spelled "T I M E" and "C O M M I T M E N T" and not convenience. 

9.  It is build on "UNDERSTANDING".  As the relationship develops, you tend to share a common understanding on major important issues.  You grow to understand each other's feeling of likes and dislikes.  Understanding helps you avoid provoking your partner to anger or distress.  It promotes unity in relationship. it brings meaning to the relationship.

10. It does not seek to change your partner.  You changed and matured to be the right partner.  A selfish person seeks the other to conform his expectations.  When both parties seek to be the best partner the end result - wonderful union.

This I believe is love.  Read 1 Corinthians 13 and live out Apostle Paul's advice.